Why courtesy is a #cmgr backstabber & what to do about it

Image by: Kelley Minars

Because their users are who they say they are, online communities for associations and nonprofits are different than the wider world of online communities. Most of an organization’s community users are members or customers who have divulged their full name, address, telephone number, credit card number and other identifying information.

As a result, these organizations’ online communities usually contain the real names and real headshots of real people, not handles or aliases that allow users to obscure their identity.

Except for a few outliers, when your name — and by extension, your professional reputation — is attached to a post, you’re very courteous about what you say and how you say it, especially when it’s directed at a colleague in your profession or industry. In the wider context of online communities, flame wars, trolling, and inappropriate posts are more common in comparison to association and nonprofit communities, where they’re the exception to the rule.

In the wider context of online communities, you’ll find that the community members are more confident in enforcing the community guidelines. Users with a sense of anonymity are less reluctant to tell Gogol_89 that her posts are rude or inappropriate.

But in an association or nonprofit community, when Hal Burgess thinks that Marge Swanson’s posts are rude or inappropriate, he’s less likely to tell Marge directly than a user with a sense of anonymity would be. Hal is more likely to do one of the following, as we’ve learned from experience:

• Privately contact the community manager and demand that Marge be reprimanded.
• Contact senior management and threaten to stop using the community or discontinue his relationship with the organization.

The community manager is then placed in an uncomfortable position. Here are some scenarios we’ve seen played out in our community manager coaching sessions, using Hal and Marge as examples.

• The CEO appears in the community manager’s office for the first time ever, unannounced, asking for an explanation for Marge’s behavior and a solution — right now.
• Hal is overreacting. Marge didn’t really violate the community guidelines. But how to explain this difference in opinion to Hal?
• Marge is a valued customer, just like Hal, but she’s been around a lot longer and spends a lot more money with the organization. How to tell her to stop it without offending her?
• Hal is on the Board of Directors. He calls for an agenda item about this situation at the next meeting. A nervous community manager is called on to appear before the board.
• Hal and Marge are fierce competitors. Hal has displayed a pattern of similar behavior with other competitors, and it’s possible he’s unfairly accusing Marge just to stir up trouble for her.

If you’ve read this far, kudos to you. This solution isn’t a cure-all, but it will definitely reduce the number of times you’ll find yourself in these uncomfortable situations:

Put a member between yourself and the problem. Encourage your members to be direct with each other in the community. At first, this will mean emboldening your community champions to do it. Here’s how:

When you see content that’s inappropriate, draft a message to the offender, contact a community champion, and ask them to edit and send it along. The message can be sent publicly or privately, depending on the scenario and the champion’s communication style. But generally speaking, a public reply to inappropriate behavior is preferable, because it telegraphs to everyone what’s not tolerated. In other words, you model the behavior you want to see in your community.

Once your champions start posting public replies to inappropriate content, eventually, others will jump in on the action, and you’ll drastically reduce the number of complaints you’re asked to handle and the awkward position you find yourself in.